Corinthians tell us - Bad company corrupts good character. Television, texting, social media. Courtesy is next to non-existent and when actual personal interaction occurs, the general consensus seems to be the best defense is to be offensive.
Not to mention dealing with some people without stooping to their level, in our own strength, is just exhausting!
Shortly after I prayed about becoming a woman after G-d's own heart, three kinds of people came into my life in large number, and some covered more than one of the descriptions. A myriad of folks sharing religious foolishness with a constant flow of their own perspective and a barrage of covenant breakers came into my circle of influence. From every walk of life, from every direction, I found myself dealing with people whom I thought were seeking truth and maybe even fellowship, but actually just wanted someone to give audience as they verbalized the rattling in their heads. The other individuals would make agreements or give their word, indicating we had some sort of understanding, some even written contracts or signed agreements, but then offer excuses, rather than fulfilling their word. The third group, and we all deal with them on some basis are the ones who ask for help. I took the time to listen to their problem, offer G-dly counsel, they didn't follow any of it; then returned to let me know how they'd chosen to do it and somehow it was still my fault it hadn't worked out.
Last night, it just suddenly hit like an emotional tsunami. I was so exhausted from it all, I turned off the computer, left the phone in the other room and simply went to my room and snuggled into my futon. I was just too angry to deal with anything or anyone. It wasn't just a momentary thing, I'd had a wonderful day and I knew that and thanked YHWH for it, but the build up of religious foolishness, covenant issues, and people wanting things different without making changes; took hold of me and really hurt my heart, not just my feelings. As I laid on my futon quoting the Psalms about my couch being drenched with tears, I heard a very simple, yet sad statement. "This is a taste of what it is for Me." Upon hearing that, even now, my keyboard is drenched with tears.
We just don't realize how we break our Creator's heart, over and over and over again. Not to mention an entire religion arguing over interpretations which is really nothing more than the prattling of opinions and tradition. Then there's the ongoing debate about what the covenant means and another religion proclaiming it's obsolete, and yet a third one coming up between the two . . . who now appear to believe they have it all figured out and if you disagree, it will be your fault they had to shun you. People seem to prefer to cling to their own perspective, over seeking G-d, and that boils down to pride, idolatry, and flat out foolishness. So it is with this knowledge, I now understand the basis for self-control. I know there is so much more than this basic grasp.
If we die to self, our emotions which were created by YHWH are to be ruled by our spirit, rather than our surroundings. I'm sure many reading this are shaking their heads, saying, "Well of course!" But it's not that easy, when we think about it. The fruit of the Spirit regarding self-control isn't willing ourselves to be stoic or somber, or even protective, and it isn't about "willing ourselves to disregard the feelings." A disregard of feelings, even our own, results in callousness. Spiritual self-control is choosing to surrender our spirit to the Great Spirit of our Creator.
I realized this revelation in my struggle with anger and frustration over religious folly and covenant breakers. I want to have a reasonable conversation and discussion when it comes to spiritual matters; and in every day dealings with people, I want someone to be good to their word. When I choose to get all emotional when they make the choices I don't like, it doesn't change them, it only changes me for the worse. I cannot make someone seek HIM with me. I can not make another keep their word. I cannot make someone follow the Instructions for which they have "sought my council" and I have clearly heard from YHWH. There is only one thing I can do in any of those situations. I can recognize the facts and choose how I will deal with it.
I'm not one that believes we have to take every detail to YHWH in our dealings. Some things are clearly written and apply to us all. There is no special dispensation to disregard what YHWH has commanded. For example, I don't have to ask if there could be special permission for stealing. There isn't. I don't have to ask if we can all have our own interpretation for sexual behavior. We can't. He's very clear on some matters and that's that. We do have the choice to do what we want, but our choices do not change what He's said. We can all read what HE's said. When someone does make choices outside of the Written Word, being on the receiving end of those things is where the understanding of self-control comes in.
This world is full of people who make excuses, offer justification, and dole out arguments and accusations. The Word of G-d is for His people. General society isn't necessarily interested in what the Word has to say. What sets apart the true people of YHWH is not so much our religious verbalization, but rather the way we conduct ourselves in the "matters of the mundane." Self-control is so easy on the mountain top or in the gatherings where everyone is in agreement! When it comes to actual accountability, responsibility, and genuine concern, is when self-control is needed. Self-control isn't just about not saying the wrong thing, or maintaining a cool head when all those around are losing their's, but self control that is truly of the Great Spirit of our Creator also involves not getting involved in some discussions, realizing it's only a second mile, not a shared journey, or hearing a wrong accusation without defending your intent.
We’ve gone from a society of self-defined “just good people” to the attitude of that’s just how it is . . . Paul's reference to "self-control" as a fruit of the Spirit, in my life means surrender of self to YHWH's control.
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