We simply cannot crucify ourselves. It is impossible for an individual to crucify themselves. It is also impossible for one to choose their place and submission to a true sacrifice of self. We like to think we are doing what Abba has called us to do, but frequently we want to choose our own sacrifice, rather than what He actually asks of us. When it comes to where we make the sacrifice, that's another point altogether, in that most of us either want it to be notable or negligible.
In the path, coming to genuine terms with where Abba has me at this time, and only He knows the length of this season, I found myself really wanting things to be different. Of course, I want to become the person He wants to me to be, but I have some of my own ideas as to how to bring that about. I'd actually prefer some of my ideas, to the circumstances in which He has brought me. This past year has been pretty difficult in the area of rejection. I really thought I'd endured enough rejection to be who He wanted me to be. I also thought I'd experienced enough rejection to have the proper compassion for others. The biggest thing about rejection, was I thought once I was actually rejected, the rejector would not remain a part of my life.
Internet rejection is no big deal, really, as it is impersonal. In blogging and publishing, there are followers and subscribers that come and go. Lives and circumstances change, not to mention search engines often determine one's visibility. If the readership of one of my endeavors drops in number, I don't take it personally, unless they message me about the reason or a particular issue. At that point we can discuss the matter, or at least know we can't discuss the matter. Sometimes people simply have to reprioritize their time allotment and I am well aware that I am not everyone's priority. The information superhighway is vast. We can not read everything!
Social media is a bit more personal, in that we get used to "interacting" in certain ways and groups. Most of the social media rejection I have experienced outside of family, is over spiritual and religious differences, so that's to be expected. As this election cycle begins to gear up, I'm sure some will feel the heat and possible rejection regarding their politics. We simply cannot please all the people all the time . . . There's been a large number of people who have chosen to reject Messiah and that's a rejection that pains me greatly. Those rejections don't pain me for me, but it's heart wrenching, knowing the price He paid, and the hope those individuals have lost.
Obviously, sacrifice is costly, it should be! Crucifixion is painful! My natural mind would like to have spiritual maturity while enjoying what I want, but . . . and it's a big BUT, as I mature, I've found what I once enjoyed and wanted, has changed. The things I used to think were important just really have paled in my priorities. The people I thought I couldn't live without, I've discovered life goes on. I still pray for people when we've had a parting of the way, but rejection has come easier, because the cost of compromise is so great! I've learned in attempting to "go along to get along," the cost of concession just continues to increase.
My life is not perfect, but as I look around, I realize, had I chosen my own sacrifices, and the places to offer them, I wouldn't be where I am today. I think of Abraham and Isaac. That long walk up that mountain must have been emotionally excruciating. As he climbed that mountain thinking about what seemed to lie ahead, every step had to be heavy, but had Abraham chosen his own place of sacrifice, he'd have not been where the ram would be in the thicket.
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