Tribal by Choice

I grew up in a family that gave emphasis to our Native history, and family was often referred to as "tribe," so it's an integral part of my make-up.  Tribe isn't always about blood lines, though, it's about caring; receiving and offering and sense of belonging.  With that being said, I have been blessed to be the matriarch of a rather interestingly formed tribe.

Not all of my children had a choice in being my child, but some of them did.  I've referred to feeling like a failure as a mother, because I was so broken until YHWH healed me.  Unfortunately, my youngest turned 18, the year I first began serving YHWH.  So, I feel that my kids really got cheated, but that's not the topic of today's article.

Since coming to know Y'hshuwah, I have asked YHWH to show me His heart in dealing with His people and in how we, His people treat Him.  I think I have the "perfect" illustration right here in my own life, as a parent.  Now, first let me make this very clear . . . I, unlike Abba, have not been, nor am I yet, a perfect parent.

I have a very special situation that probably not too many people have encountered.  My oldest daughter was adopted as an adult.  Sounds odd, I realize, but there is great significance to this decision for both of us, I believe.  She was already quite the independent individual, in that she had, for all practical purposes, mothered her younger siblings.  It was the two younger siblings I was given the opportunity to adopt, when I realized, I did not want to make these people half siblings to the person who had loved and cared for them.  I didn't want the older sister who had practically raised these two younger children to suddenly not be "as related" to them, so . . . I threw the idea on the table, not knowing what would be the reaction.

It wasn't abject refusal, so we chatted about it.  The idea seemed to be something we both truly wanted, even if it wasn't for the more traditional reasons of adoption.  Now, in retrospect of my own maturity and previous lack, I look at my children and realize, with G-d in my life I have so much more to offer them than I did when they became my children.

My four living children very clearly reflect the four kinds of people, our Heavenly Father deals with.  The two youngest, one by birth, one by adoption are both "doing their own thing."  My oldest daughter and/or I hear from them when something's brewing and other than that . . . so, it's kind of like church and synagogue when the MIA members have a major crisis and want prayer.  On the other hand, I hear from my second oldest for the milestones in life.  Births, deaths, and he hears from me on his birthday.  Much like the attendance for High Holy Days at synagogue or the Christmas and Easter overflow at church.

My oldest daughter and I have had a different relationship than all the others.  Through the years, we have been both hot and cold, but never lukewarm.  Her daughter, my granddaughter, has made the comment more than once, that she simply cannot believe her mom is adopted.  My oldest daughter and I have many similarities, and she may not be thrilled to see that fact in print, but it's true, and I'm thrilled to put it in print!

YHWH has shown me, in my own children, what He deals with in the general population.  There are those who He hears from when they need something or are ready to bargain.  There are those who show up for the big things, like holidays, funerals, and baptisms, and then there are those who are simply His, regardless of emotion, need, or whim.  The relationship is a fact of life, and although the circumstances change, the relationship is a steadfast matter of record.

I'm so grateful that our Father has allowed me to see this.  He's shown me a bit of His heart . . . I love all my children, and I would not claim a favorite, but the reality is, relationships thrive on mutual interaction, shared interests and events.  Unlike our Heavenly Father, I didn't have perfection to offer my children when I became their mother, but by the grace of G-d, I can now offer them His perfection.

He has blessed me to be able to offer my children an inheritance of eternal value and Biblical proportion, just as He did at Sinai and through Y'hshuwah at Calvary.  It is up to them, whether or not they accept the offer; and I love them regardless of their decision.

I am so grateful that although she didn't have to, my eldest chose to become my daughter.  I couldn't give her the childhood she missed, but I could and did give her encouragement in her abilities and I can give her a place to come home to.  She shares with others what her mom makes and believes, and she wants to bring others to meet me.  It's not a matter of curiosity or mockery, she knows her mom's life finally works.  It's a point of "tribal pride."

  Who are Israelites; to whom pertains the adoption, and the glory, and the covenants, and the giving of the law, and the service of G-d, and the promises;  Romans in New Testament