If you knew all the details of my track record, you would know, the title of this article is truly an awesome statement of fact. I'm not bragging and I'm not claiming perfection, but I am so thankful I am not the person I used to be. The other night I was thinking of some old times, not necessarily bad, just times before I walked with YHWH. With the changes He has made, I am seriously not the same person I was, and I am so thankful.
I'm so thankful that our Creator's ways are not the ways of humanity. Humans like to hold our track record against us. Many of us hold our track records against ourselves. I know I did for years. It wasn't until I realized I didn't have to listen to the judgment of men, that I truly allowed Abba to free me from my track record. I don't need to focus on it at all, besides, there's always someone willing to bring it up! It's not like it will be forgotten in the annals of family history.
This is clearly not a teaching that we must "know sorrow" to appreciate joy or that we must experience evil to embrace good, not at all. This is a teaching, however; to myself and any others who may be thinking they've made too many mistakes, gotten to old, or just blown it too badly to be used as YHWH originally planned. Well, YHWH knew every step your free will would take you even as He formed you for His Plan! Fear not! I have examples.
I knew when I was 12 years old, I had a call on my life, and I'd met Messiah at the age of 10, been baptized, and got a spirit of religion by the age of 13! I went to a denomination that didn't believe in receiving the Holy Ghost . . . but oh my, we did have spirits of religion! That denomination I had tried to be a part of, as a teen ager, just bases their doctrine on everything is done at once and that's that. They aren't against the Holy Spirit, they just talk about the blood all the time and like the shows and plays that depict the death of Messiah. Too much violence for me . . . but anyway, I was oppressed by a religious spirit at the age of 13. I wasn't possessed, just burdened down. This came, however; after I had received my call. I just didn't have anyone to teach me or guide me in what to do and I was one of those kids that didn't think you should breathe without adult permission. So, I read my Bible and got religious, as that was the example set by the adults in that group.
Thankfully, my life got crazy enough that I didn't pursue the mainstream plan I thought was involved in my call. That would have been very difficult to walk away from, I'm sure. So I wandered. My wilderness experience may indeed be proof that the days are shorter. Mine only lasted 20 years as opposed to Moses with the Israelites. I also want to point out the true gratitude I have that I got lost before the age of 20, because had I continued in the direction I was at 13, I can't imagine how much tradition I'd have clung to.
Now, fast forward from age 16 to 36, I hear Messiah's call, I bow at the foot of the throne and I receive the Holy Spirit of the Living G-d. This was after the 20 years of bad track record. A whole new deal in my life, a whole new life! My mind is healed, my oppression lifted and I clearly hear, "My gift and call is irrevocable!" Romans 11:29 NIV I didn't know the NIV at the time I heard that. I had my KJV and the call is without repentance . . . meaning no change of direction! The Creator of the universe met me that day in August to tell me, the offer still stood! What a day, glorious day, that was.
A great deal has changed in nearly another 20 years, but never the direction, only the surrounding circumstances. The direction has never changed, as much as fallen away, and much as been given. I've stumbled and I've doubted my own hearing, but His path is straight, narrow and certain. To the point, He's reminded me, it's time to move into the fullness of His Plan. There's more to this call and I thank Adonai that He changes not. He created me to enjoy numbers, you know; pattern, ratio, etc., and He blessed me with Scriptural confirmation from Jeremiah to correlated with that passage in Romans and the references make them so easy to associate and remember.
We have to let go of the things He didn't plan, to embrace His Plan. That's not to say, He will take everything away from us, but sometimes we have to let go of some things, to receive from Him. I had to let go of most of my preconceived notions of what it is to be in ministry, to be able to truly serve the Living G-d who allows me to call Him Abba. I chose to let go of all the ridiculous teachings claimed in Jesus' name to hear my precious Messiah tell me the Name His mother called Him. In those two events, giving up the religious mantra for a meaningful relationship became so simple.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says YHWH, thoughts of
peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11
No comments:
Post a Comment